Daylight Saving Time: we keep using this term, I do not think it means what we think it means

Friends, it’s that time of year again.

It’s time to set your clock ahead one hour before you go to sleep Saturday night, otherwise you’ll be an hour late Sunday morning. (Not a good thing to arrive for church when the service is already over, is it?)

At 1:59:59 (you read that as hours:minutes:seconds, in case that confused you due to losing your hour of sleep this weekend) Sunday morning, the next tick of the second on the clock makes the time 3:00:00. So where did that hour go? (Just to really mess with your head, the first Sunday of November has twin 1:00:00 a.m. hours, but we’ll cover that subject in the fall.)

The logical thing to do when one is missing something is to check the Lost and Found Department. Um, does anyone know where the Time L&F is located? We don’t have a lot of time to waste before this weekend.

On the other hand, we know we’re losing an hour of time this weekend. Without a doubt, this is a premeditated crime, as someone is stealing an hour of our lives! Since this affects almost the entire country, the federal government must take action! Or wasn’t this their fault in the first place? Someone, call the White House! Oh, wait, that won’t work… the president will be spending his weekend time golfing.

Hawaii, of course, doesn’t observe Daylight Standard Time. Why should it? It’s already a tropical paradise whose island chain from Kure Atoll at the northwestern tip to Hawaii at the southeastern tip is 1,500 miles long, and its southernmost tip of Ka Lae on the Big Island is the southernmost piece of United States land. Hey, when you’re surrounded by ocean and blue sky, who needs to worry about an hour here or there, right?

Arizona doesn’t observe DST either. Come on; give the illegal aliens a break—they need to have a consistent time from Mexico to Arizona to keep their border crossing plan times in sync, after all!

Benjamin Franklin first suggested Daylight Saving Time in 1784, but it didn’t come into existence until several countries adopted it in 1916. Hasn’t anyone wondered what’s happened to those “saved” hours between 1916 and 2013? That’s 97 “saved” hours by moving the clocks ahead one hour every spring. Someone has four of our days saved somewhere!

Thank God for modern computers which automatically update our electronic clocks every spring and fall (actually, to be completely accurate this time, every fall and winter, since DST ends in November– fall– and starts the second Sunday in March– still winter). We still have to change the manual clocks twice a year, that’s time spent moving the minute hands forward or backwards (ok, clockwise or counterclockwise… hey, how can clocks be wise, anyway? They aren’t sentient… or are they? After all, they just hang there or sit there, taking their time…).

So are we running out of time? When did we start running in time? Is it like running in a track? Or in a circle? Have you ever considered what happens when the clocks stop ticking forward in time? Back in 1999 Armageddon was forecast as computers around the world ticked over to 2000 and not a thing happened, that was a waste of time that New Year’s Eve. Are we simply biding our time until the next major electronic clock rollover?

Do we have time for a movie? Do we have time for a burger? How about a stitch? Hey, maybe a new recipe– hold that thought, there will be time to talk about thyme another time.

After writing this entry, and considering the amount of time taken to research and contemplate, it hasn’t saved any time, and we’re still losing an hour of time in just under three days’ time. No one has yet come forward to admit to stealing time, or saving time. Still not sure how taking away an hour’s sleep is saving time.

On the other hand, if you are serving time you definitely have time to kill, especially if you killed, then you have plenty of time to sleep or not, and not notice the passage of time from which you have been removed. Somehow, we wouldn’t think of imprisonment as timeless but love is timeless… or is that diamonds? Although it takes a very, very long time for nature to create a diamond, it takes almost no time for a man to win a woman with a diamond.

Time to bring to an end the time spent talking about time this time. It’ll take a few minutes to go to the store to replace the thyme that was thrown out because it was in the crisper too much time. Next time, time will be spent working on our serial killer’s next crime, and trust us that writing the perfect murders takes a lot of time. And our self-imposed deadline to finish the next novel is running out of time quickly! (How can time run out quickly? Isn’t time precise, neither fast nor slow? Unless you travel at the speed of light, in which case time becomes relative… do you make time for your relatives, by the way?)

If you’ve read all the way to this point, either you had too much time on your hands or you’ve decided this was a waste of your time or you had a fun time reading this timely entry in our fun blog series! Either way, we appreciate your time getting to this point in time! Have a good time this weekend even with that missing hour saved somewhere…

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