Friends, we have a question. How in the world can we be under man-made global warming when there’s snow falling in 7 states right now (including a big snow cell in the middle of Wyoming and a bigger snow system over southwestern South Dakota and northern Nebraska) during the middle of April? Oh yeah, we forgot… it’s springtime snowstorms caused by man-made global warming.
So, keeping that in mind, today’s local forecast high of 78 here on the southern South Carolina coast is two degrees higher than the recorded average of 76, which is the average of over a century of record keeping, requiring that there had been equal numbers of days higher than 76 and lower than 76 to get the date’s average of 76. Today’s record of 92 was set in 1972, at a time when scientists, and Newsweek and Time magazines, were warning us of “the next ice age”, or in today’s parlance, “man-made global cooling”. To what do we blame for this coming Saturday’s forecast high of 69 (nine degrees below average), more “cooling due to man-made global warming”? Are the forecast possible thunderstorms on Saturday due to man-made global warming? And the forecast lower-than-average temperatures from Saturday through Tuesday? And then next for the next week after?
Sorry, we just can’t take ‘man-made global warming’ seriously with a two-week forecast like this. If the globe is warming, why is there snow in the Midwest in spring? Why is our local two-week forecast calling for lower-than-average temperatures? Why are the office cats having to defrost their cans of cat food before eating their breakfast? Why does the house heating system come on automatically in the evenings during springtime?
We’re done on this one for today. We’re gonna get our Snuggies and warm up so we can kill someone in chapter 15… if our fingers would just stop shivering here…