RAIN RAIN GO AWAY… PLEASE, JUST GO…

Hi, all, Cyndi here, taking over the blogging duties today. If I end up sounding like a wet blanket, well, it’s because I don’t have a dry ANYTHING around here!

No, we didn’t have a tropical storm or hurricane. We didn’t have 100-degree-plus heat index from man-made global warming. We had rain.

And more rain.

And more rain.

And more rain.

Then it stopped.

Then it started again.

And more rain.

And more rain.

Catching a pattern here?

We love to poke at “man-made global warming”, as you know, since all the weather extremes in recent years has been blamed on MMGW. So here we are, halfway through what’s normally one of the hottest months of the year down here in the Lowcountry, and it’s only 81 right now, on an early summer Monday morning, with no heat index and lots of cloud cover. For years, my property in SC (that’s South Carolina for all y’alls who didn’t know) has been high and dry—my pond near the road, a hundred feet from the house, ten feet down to the bottom, has been holding a steady 2 or 3 feet of water.

Today I have 4 inches of water under the friggin’ house! I can’t tell where the pond begins & ends—it’s all one big lake! The sump pump is way under water! My lawn chair for lying out in the sun is now somewhere in the horse pasture next door! The floating chairs for my pond are bumping into the stairs leading to the house porch! The tomatoes in my garden are bursting from all the water! The cockroaches are wearing water wings! Squirrels are camped out on top of the truck, which itself looks like it could be a southern version of James Bond’s Lotus (the submersible car from “The Spy Who Loved Me”, y’all). Under great protest, the cats have been forced to use the house litter box instead of their usual “potties” out by the trees. The water is so high they practically have to dog-paddle, which is insulting enough to a cat! So when I say I have a s**tty attitude, you can believe it!

I asked Jack to explain where the heck all this water came from. In his usual logical explanatory way, he said it was due to this deep dip of the jet stream that was forcing moisture to flow up from the Gulf into the southeast US, combined with the remnants of Chantal bringing more rain (plus a little wind) from over the ocean—combining the elements of atmospheric steering from the powerful northern hemispheric jet stream and the confluence of warm/cold air fronts—creating the incredible precipitation we’ve experienced in the past week.

I said, “What did you just freekin’ say?”

He said, “Man-made global warming.”

I said, “Oh, well, ya could have said that in the first place.”

I heard him sigh on the phone and say something about it being Happy Hour somewhere in the world by now.

So, while I wait for this “lake”, created by MMGW to recede by means of extreme high temperatures drying out the area into drought conditions by MMGW, I have an important piece of advice:
If your cat has to take a potty but refuses to use the litter box, I suggest NOT holding the cat over the porch railing. The action only causes a terrified cat, injuries, and dropping him in the water below. I now have the amazing aroma of used kitty litter and eau-de-wet-cat in the house, I’ve run out of Band-Aids, and I won’t swim to the truck for fear of the alligators now swimming in the yard.
Oh, did I mention the new houseguests that now make use of the cat door? Frogs, crawfish, squirrels, possums, raccoons, birds, and snakes… I’m starting to feel like Mrs. Noah!

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J&C Wordsmiths LLC
http://www.jandcwordsmiths.com
http://www.facebook.com/2sAnd3s
https://jandcwordsmiths.wordpress.com

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One thought on “RAIN RAIN GO AWAY… PLEASE, JUST GO…

  1. Geri Glazier

    We’ve had a lot of rain but nothing like yours – enjoyed your message much. All I’ve had is all my stuff in my storage area under water. Good luck with the cleanup & all the critters.

    Like

    Reply

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