Why Won’t Walter Edgar Call Us Back?

We’ve tried; we really have… so why won’t Walter call us back? As Maude always said, “God will get you for this, Walter,” if you don’t call us…

We listen to you all the time (well, at least for the two years we’ve been published authors), and when we heard you interview new authors we submitted ourselves to be interviewed. Jack had brown hair, and Cyndi had a short bob-cut… now his hair is almost snow white and Cyndi’s pulling hers out. We’re being very patient, Walter, but come on already!

The more we listened, the more we learned it’s not just the newbies who get on his show. Anyone heard of Pat Conroy? He’s not a newbie… nor is Steven Naifeh, or Benjamin Dunlap or Jonathan Green. Now if we told you who they all were you wouldn’t go to Google to look them up, and Google would go out of business, so go Google them and keep a Google tech employed, okay?

Well, we know that Walter is a big history buff, and even though our first works are not about history (nor do we write in the buff, just to make that clear!) and we’re not yet renowned (or even reverbed for that matter!) we do want the chance to talk with you and tell you and your listeners all about us! Not that we really like to talk about ourselves, but we need to promote ourselves on a $0 budget (right now we are corporals in our own army, and we hope to promote ourselves to sergeants sometime soon, with your help). We do live in historic Beaufort By The Sea Twenty-Three Miles From Yemassee, but we don’t write about history. Should that make any difference? If you talk with us we will make history! And hopefully some more book sales!

After all, we have stories about good versus evil. What’s a better topic than that? Our villains kill people, our heroes catch the villains. The story is how the heroes catch the villains! And we have developed a villain who will constantly befuddle our heroes book after book. Where would Batman be without The Joker? Or Bugs Bunny without Elmer Fudd? Or even George Burns without Gracie Allen? We don’t spend our entire stories about the heroes being heroes, or the villains being villainous the entire time… we explore their lives before they become the heroes and villains in combat! Sounds much like a marriage, doesn’t it?

We could do you proud, Walter. Hey Aaron Patterson, while we haven’t written anything about President Obama specifically (although we allude to a president who uses a teleprompter to talk) to get us on YouTube, we are having a meeting with Bigfoot in the fourth book in our series… or are we? We’re not really telling, so maybe we shouldn’t have said anything about that. But then, we are trying to tease our upcoming stories…

Well, if you don’t want us, perhaps Michael Dresser will have us. His website does after all say “Click here to be a guest on our show”. We’ve been clicking, we’re ready to be guesting!!!

We seem to be making a name for ourselves without Walter and Michael tho (or would that be “names for ourselves”, hard to keep our tenses correct as we are two authors but one author team… wow) but it would be nice to be picked up by one of the big name hosts to give us a few minutes of fame (doesn’t even have to be 15 minutes, just enough time to plug our book titles, please!). It’s been very challenging as self-published authors to get word out about us…

Oh, wait, that’s right… we have a publisher now! Hey, Walter, Michael, Aaron! We got a publisher without you! Wanna have us on now so we can share our secret with all your listeners and viewers?

What’s that? Okay fine, we’ll leave a message. Meantime, we gotta go set up for our weekly book signings at Frampton Plantation, South Carolina I-95 Exit 33. We did it without ya, guys! But we’ll still talk with you any time! Please call us… and leave a message…

Jack and Cyndi
(Or if there will be a harassment lawsuit our names are Barack and Michelle)




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